Oh, we’re half way there

Oh, oh, livin on a prayer! Yeah, I went there. That’s basically how life is these days. Let me say, I’ve had a wonderful pregnancy thus far. I’ve been very very lucky. Bad days still come though. At this point I’m pretty sure the ‘stretching’ everyone talks about is actually your muscles ripping open because that’s exactly what it feels like. Ripping, tearing, awful. My hips and my lower back are also giving me hell. But it’s all worth it. Every ache and pain brings me closer to my sweet sweet baby boy!
I can’t believe we’re at the half way point already. This pregnancy is flying by, truly. I feel like I can’t keep up. There is so much still to do! I’m waiting to feel safe. I don’t know if it’s coming from years of infertility or previous loss or anxiety or just me being me but every day I expect to wake up not pregnant anymore. I know it’s crazy, but I do. Every single time I go to the bathroom I check for blood. I expect it. Every. single. time. Does that ever go away? I’m ready to feel secure that he’s really coming. That’ll he’ll really be here and safe and mine. I can’t put into words how much I love this little boy. He is my own personal miracle and I have no idea what I did to deserve him. I don’t know what I’d ever do without him. He’s magical.

How far along: 20 weeks exactly!
Gender:  Big ol bouncy baby boy!
Size of baby: Ba-nah-na (in my best minon voice!)
Maternity clothes: I wish I had more. lol! But yes, I’m rocking what I do have. This bump ain’t going into any regular jeans anytime soon.
Symptoms:  My mealtimes are still about 1/3 to a half of what I used to eat, but I can eat much much more now thankfully! I still haven’t felt that desperate hunger thing and I actually have to force myself to eat most of the time. I really should get better about that…. I’m having pain and soreness from my ever expanding hips and my lower back and this whole stretching thing feels way way more like tearing, but over all, we’re good!
Sleep: Some nights are better than others, but sleep has pretty much gotten into a normal routine.
Best moment this week: We picked up Oliver’s crib today!!! Ooooh, how emotional that was! I really never thought this day would come! I’m making Ran start on the nursery tomorrow. I’m ready to get this thing knocked out!
Worst moment this week: I didn’t get out of bed on Tuesday at all. Or was it Thursday? Either way, both days were awful. Just pain and soreness. That’s about it. Otherwise this week has been just fine!
Miss anything:Enjoying food. I mean really truly enjoying what I eat.
Cravings: I think my chocolate milk phase might finally be over. And maybe fried rice too. I’ve had my Rally’s Fry run twice this week, but nothing too demanding. This kid is going to come out a potato. If I can’t eat anything else I can put down some fries and potato chips. Oooh, Coke! That’s been my big one the last couple of weeks. I just WANT IT so bad. Not good considering my sugar test is Tuesday. So far the kidney stones have stayed at bay though. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time with how irresponsible I’ve been. 😦
Looking forward to: We go for our anatomy scan on Tuesday and we’ll get to see him from the top of his head to the soles of his sweet feet looking at every single spot. I go for my first sugar test too, but that’s not so much a ‘looking forward to’. I am excited my mom will be there on Tuesday. She hasn’t gotten to see him at all on ultrasound yet so that’ll be fun for her!

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